Scripts to Help You Navigate Difficult Medical Appointments

Every year, I see the number flash on my phone. Every year, I send it to voicemail.

I know my health is important. I should just answer and confirm the appointment. And yet, it always takes me a few days to find the courage to call them back.

Most people with breasts don’t start getting mammograms until their fifties, but because of my family history, my doctor enrolled me in an early detection program. Once a year, I go for a mammogram and an MRI to screen for breast cancer.

I’ve been attending these appointments for years, and they always make me anxious. I hate having my body touched by strangers, and medical appointments like mammograms and pap tests are especially difficult.

The first year I had to book a mammogram, I talked about it with my therapist. She encouraged me to tell the clinic that I’m a survivor and be honest about being nervous. I was worried I’d forget what to say, so she helped me prepare a script to read.

My heart was racing when I called the clinic. I read my script and held my breath as I waited for their response. The receptionist was kind. She thanked me for telling them and said she would put a note on my file for the technologist.

When I got to the appointment, it wasn’t so bad. It wasn’t exactly comfortable, but the technologist was gentle and took time and care to explain what she was about to do before she touched my body. It helped.

The following year, I didn’t say anything when I scheduled my appointment. I assumed the note would still be on my file, and if I’m honest, I was also afraid. There was a voice in my head that convinced me I’d already spoken up once and it would be self-indulgent to say it again.

The technologist was different from the year before. I could tell she was behind schedule and seemed stressed. After rushing through my medical history, she whisked me over to the machine.

There was no warning before she lifted my breast. As soon as she touched me, I went numb. When the mammogram concluded, she stayed in the room while I changed out of my gown. My brain couldn’t make sense of what had just happened. The mammogram felt like a violation and I couldn’t understand why she was still in the room.

I felt vulnerable and exposed. I got dressed as quickly as I could, left the clinic, and barely made it to the stairwell before I burst into tears.

That experience showed me the importance of advocating for myself in medical appointments. I now use a script for any appointment I’m feeling nervous about and it makes a difference. Below are some examples of scripts you can use to help you navigate a medical appointment.

Example of a script when booking an appointment:

“Before we book my appointment, I wanted to share that I’m a survivor of sexual violence.* These types of appointments are difficult for me and it would help if you could make a note of this on my file and make sure my nurse/physician/technologist is aware. I would also like to request a [x gender] physician. This will help me feel more comfortable during the appointment.”

Example of a script if you have questions about the procedure:

“I have a few questions about what to expect in the procedure. If you are unable to answer them, could you have a nurse / physician call me back before my appointment?”

Example of a script when you arrive at an appointment:

“Before we begin, I wanted to share that I’m a survivor of sexual violence.* These types of appointments are difficult for me and I’m nervous. It would help me if you could explain each step of what you’re doing, before you do it, so that I know what to expect.”

*I’ve used the term “survivor of sexual violence” here, but you can change this to any descriptor that feels right for you.

You can read your script to the scheduler if you’re required to make your appointment by phone, or put it in an email if your medical provider allows you to contact them electronically. If saying the words out loud feels overwhelming, you can also hand your script to your physician to read when you arrive at the appointment.

If you experience anxiety around medical appointments, you’re not alone. Even though it might not always be comfortable, taking care of your health is important. You deserve to feel safe and respected when receiving medical care, and it’s ok to speak up for what you need.

You’re allowed to advocate for yourself. You’re worth it.